Watergap Scandal

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This Article requires continuous updates.

This article has been nominated for Ongoing Updates because it is related to an article that is currently in flux. Because more facts and data are being discovered on a frequent basis, this article, for correctness and maintenance of QSS needs to be kept up until such time as consensus decides it no longer requires this tag.

(The Watergap Scandal is ongoing.) (Ongoing and now has taken a very interesting turn. See the News and read all about it! at NEWS.)

So far, the following NAL legislators have been identified as having been involved in the Watergap Scandal:

  • Party chair (and former Senator) Luke Himmel-Walker (P-C Pennsylvaania).

NAL TODAY -- 16.MAR.2006 -- Censure Vote Reveals Party Rifts in NAL

Philadelphia (NAL) -- Senator Richard Bork (PC-Pennsylvaania) and five other Senators escaped expulsion from the upper house of Parliament today, recieving instead the still-serious official "censure" from their colleagues. A simple majority is all that is required for a censure but a two-thirds super-majority is needed for expulsion. No Senator has ever been expelled from the Senate.

The vote was not along party lines because the Progressive Conservatives split. Bork was censured 68 to 40 and that vote was typical, three short of those needed to expell. Other Senators censured were Bob Chaney Lewis (Castreleon New), Leroy Gingrich Franklin(Massachussets Bay), Christian Delay (Mobile), Andrew Dworkin (Virginia) and Gerald Fallwell (also Virginia). All have been implicated in the "Watergap Scandal," the attempt to frame General Moderator Albert Gore in the coup which topped Jaime Bush prior to the Florida War. Four of the six (Bork, Dworkin, Chaney and Gingrich) are under indictment, while grand juries are still sitting over Delay and Fallwell.

Progressive Conservative Whip Robert O'Kinneide (Massacheussets Bay) was the leader of those insisting upon censure rather than expulsion, opposing not only the Whig majority but also indignant Senators in his own party, led by Illinoise Senator Diane Rodham. In what most observers agree is an indication of extreme dissent with the party, a clear but narrow majority of the Progressive Conservatives voted for expulsion.

Kelson Starr (Tenisi), last of the "Watergap Seven," resigned his office January 16, 2006. The Lord Governor of that province appointed Vincent Forester, a Whig, to fill out his term.

Events are considered good news for General Moderator Gore, currently trying to convince a skeptical Parliament to pass his UNICOV program of universal medical coverage.[DZ]

STAR OF GEORGETOWN -- 17.10.2005 -- Parliaments Knickers in a Twist, Dance Master Gore Has Them Chacing Their Tails!

Georgetown -- The present Scandal brewing in the City of Fraternal Love took a new twist Friday last as the High Court's commission revealed that the true scandal is not GM Gore's alleged involvement in the ouster of President J. Bush of the erstwhile Republic of Florida-Caribbea, but in stead revolves around the audio tapes purported to have been recordings of the General Moderator hatching the coup plot with certain southern Lords Governors. On Friday last, a veritable bomb was dropped as the one dubbed "Sore Throat" -- one Jospeh S. Bachman of Harrisburg, Penna. -- stepped forward, apparently suffering from a guilty conscience at watching the embattled GM's fortunes and public confidence at first waver then plummet like a sinking airship. According to Bachman, a local commedian who as it turns out is renown in the club-and-pub circuit as a master "voice man" or impressionist, he was approached after performing in Philadelphia last April by two men who introduced themselves as "political satirists". They engaged his services in what they represented as a spoof of GM Gore ordering the ouster or assassination of President Bush of Florida, in order to use in their own daytime conservative oriented radio talk show. It turns out, however, that this was a ruse perpetrated by long time senators Franklin (P-C Massacheusets) and Lewis (P-C New Castreleon) at the behest of party chair senator Luke Himmel-Walker (P-C Pennsylvaania).

This morning, the situation in Philadelphia was turned entirely on its head, as Mr Gore stormed into the Senate chamber with haggard aides in tow and, striding purposefully to the dais, commanded that all senators present themselves to the chamber. The live televised coverage was soon being broadcast on all the major networks as Mr Gore gracefully switched into Presbyterian preacher mode, berating the named senators for their "dastardly and cowardly acts of political scallawaggery" and the Senate in general for being a "house of ill repute".

By noon, the chamber was packed and the General Moderator read out a statement that called for the investigation of the named senators and their (unnamed) accomplices. The GM waved a sealed envelope threateningly at the stunned audience, intimating that he "know[s] who's in who else's pockets and who's buggering who and no one well be overlooked in this far deeper and utterly unpatriotic scandal of epic proportions". No one on the chamber floor dared speak out, but the consternation, or rather constipation, was clearly to be read upon the faces of many of our nation's senators.

Political commentator H. Ross Lambaugh of ABC radio took up the story in his popular afternoon radio show, saying: "Well, Mr Gore was dancing like a cat on a hot tin roof this time last week; but it looks very much like Dance Master Gore shall be calling the senators to do-si-do from here on out. Whatever the meaning of his veiled threat with the sealed envelope earlier this morning, it was clear from looking at the faces in the crowd that the GM's words were stabbing deep into the hearts of many in Philadelphia this morning. At this time, it is anyone's speculation as to what the end result will be. Last week we were looking at serious and creditable charges of misconduct against Mr Gore; this morning, it looks like at least two provinces will soon be holding special senatorial elections..."

Time will tell what the results of this inquest shall be.

STAR OF GEORGETOWN -- 09-12-2005 -- Shake Down of Senate turns into Shake Up in Philadelphia

GEORGETOWN -- The so called "Watergap Scandal" that threatened Mr Gore's reputation and job, to say nothing of the credibility of the nation this August last exploded in October when Mr. J. S. Bachman, a.k.a. "Sore Throat" who had furnished a series of audio tapes to the Inquirer of Philadelphia reporters Jack Silver Crow and Lance Prevallet came forward to tell the truth of the matter. "I just couldn't live with myself to see Mr Gore plummet that way. I mean, I does voices to make folks laugh, not to bring down governments!"

The results as of this morning's tally announced by the GM's investigating commission are startling in their effect. Thus far, seven senators (all Progressive-Conservatives) have been named (from Massacheussets, New Castreleon, Pennsylvaania, Virginia (both senators), Tenisi and Mobile) have been discovered to be co-conspirators as well as three MPs from Pennsylvaania and one from Mobile. Several aides and high level ministers at P-C party headquarters were named in suits alleging gross misconduct in misrepresenting the facts of the GM's actions during the recent war. Charges ranging from conspiracy to treason are to be laid against the participants, and the Court is set to hear the case early next year. "Sore Throat" Mr. Bachman received a special citation for speaking out the truth of the matter. It has come to our attention at the Star that several prominent publishing houses are seeking to commit Mr Bachman to book deals.

Political commentator H. Ross Lambaugh of ABC radio stunned his audience yesterday with the following statement: "The events of that last few months have clearly spelled the demise of the Progressive-Conservative party in this North American League, and have certainly destroyed what might have otherwise been a very strong chance at regaining the General Moderatorship in 2010. My fellow Americans, what I am about to say will shock the knickers off of many of you. While I consider myself an American and a conservative first, I have long prided myself on my affiliation with the P-C. However, having thought long and hard about the recent turn of events, I have no choice but to renounce my personal connexions with that party. Of course, I shall remain your devoted conservative servant, and shall continue to strive for the day the Whigs are cast out of Philadelphia on their keisters, but in the NAL, a nation of laws, we must do things the right way. The P-C have shown to what depths a party in desperation to seek power can stoop, and I can not personally align myself with such a party."


GEORGETOWN -- News has come to the City that two independent labs have confirmed the authenticity of the damning audio tapes that were leaked to two junior reporters of the Inquirer of Philadelphia last May. [See also our series of articles summing up the Scandal at the Watergap Hotel*] In light of materials revealed to various news media, a press conference had been scheduled for Friday at noon.

As all now know, the tapes record secretive meetings between GM Albert Gore, the MPs and Lords Governors of Jacobia and Cherokee Nation regarding the "situation in Florida", and range in date from 2000 to as recently as late 2004. The Governors speak of the "untenable situation that Mr Bush is putting us in" and that "we can not solve this problem in the usual fashion [diplomacy]". Mr Gore's characteristic Tenisi drawl is very clear in saying "You boys just do what you need to do. We want Bush taken care of." The source of the tapes is unknown, and the Inquirer is guarantying their source's anonymity; though the young reporters admit they have dubbed him "Sore Throat", on account of his rough, raspy voice.

If that weren't bad enough, the situation in the Houses of Parliament at Philadelphia is deteriorating this week as several more tapes were released to NBC's Philadelphia bureau this Monday that seem to outline an American instigated coup during the last weeks of the Caribbean War. The Parliament was in an uproar Tuesday morning as the MPs from Jacobia and Cherokee Nation took their seats; many MPs calling for investigations or removal proceedures. When it became clear that the MPs in question were not going to leave the chambers, one MP from Oxbridge drew a small pistol and threatened the Jacobian MP, which threw the whole chamber into chaos. The situation came to blows when the New Icelandish MP knocked the gun from Oxbridge's hand; but the Sargeant at Arms restored calm in short order by separating the parliamentarians with the Mace.

In an interview with MP Chavez from West Florida this afternoon, the Star has learnt that no one in the Floridian Resistance movement was aware or invovled in any coup against former President Bush of Florida-Caribbea. It was assumed that the coup came solely from within the Miami military corps.

[* A posh hotel conveniently named for the Van Lustbader Watergap, a beautiful topographical feature in Pennsylvaania where the river flows through the Appalachian Mountains. Many MPs and other government officials have residences and offices here.]

Asahi Ximbun, Gacudai 2, Xitxigaçu 26 (August 24, 2005)


Changes in North America Until recently, the conventional wisdom was that the North American League was the most stable of North America's nations, certainly more stable and politically clean than Louisianne. Yet, while Jean-Francois Young has been cleaning up Louisianne's government, the NAL's government has been descending into chaos. Recently, an MP from the province of Oxbridge threatened an MP from Jacobia Province with a gun. Though no shots were fired, the very fact that, not only was a gun brought into the Parliament building, but was brandished threateningly, bids poorly for the future. We can only hope that GM Gore will do the honorable thing and step down from his General Moderatorship.

This latest scandal has led to new questions about the wisdom of allying with Louisianne. Louisianne, too, had reason for bitterness towards FC. Could the Watergap scandal have involved Louisianne leaders? If so, the opposition argues, the effects on Louisianne could be far worse, bringing down the whole government, and potentially destroying our careful investments in that mid-continent republic.