How to tell if you're Kalingan

If you're Kalingan...

• You are proud that you are from the land of prominent Mahayana Buddhist monks and scripture, as well as Hindu sages.
• Even if you consider yourself more of a Hindu or a Buddhist, you still indulge in the other tradition's practices; if you are a Hindu you still probably pray in Buddhist temples from time to time and if you are a Buddhist you still probably had a Annapráxana ceremony in a Hindu temple as a baby.
• You know the rules of kabbadi, and probably grew up playing it with your friends. Even as an adult, you probably play it with your mates as a pastime.
• You likely know how to play soccer, and follow it on television.
• You look forward every year to Buddha Purnima, the celebration of the Buddha's birthday and one of the biggest celebrations in the country.

If you died tonight...

• You'd know that this isn't the end. Whether you consider yourself more Hindu or Buddhist, you know that this is just one life of many. You hope you've done enough good karma to earn a good station in the next life.
• You think of fast food chains as a delicacy if you're not so well off, an expensive treat. If you are a richer urbanite, you see them as unhealthy and overpriced food.
• Street food is widely considered the go-to when you want something delicious and cheap: nothing beats hot peanuts in a paper cone or fresh dosa off a griddle.
• You don't consider insects, cats, dogs, monkeys, pigs, cows, or guinea pigs to be food. In general, you avoid meat at least around holidays as eating meat violates the principles of ahimsa and meat can be expensive. A large exception is fish; Kalinga is close to the ocean and the ocean provides. If you do eat other meat, you may indulge in chicken or goat, particularly in the form of biryani.
• If you are poorer, you do your laundry by hand and your bathroom is an outhouse in the yard. You may not have air conditioning, but you at least have a telephone and television set.
• If you are more well off, you do not have a dirt floor, you have a telephone and television set, and have a maid come and do the cleaning and laundry. Your bathroom is a room in your house.
• Trains are the way to get from place to place. They're a bit clunky and crowded, but they do the job.
• The telephone company, trains, and power companies are publicly owned, while many privately owned car companies dominate the landscape. Japanese and Corean brands have gotten popular in the current landscape.
• There are too many political parties for you to keep track of, and a disturbing number of politicians are former celebrities of some sort. Still, you feel that a pas as an actor doesn't preclude someone from being a strong politician. In particular, Nandamúri Þáraka Rámárávu, famous for his portrayal of the Buddha in a variety of movies, is fondly remembered as one of the best Prime Ministers of the country.
• Actually, the reverence of Nandamúri Þáraka Rámárávu (or NÞR) goes so far that it's not uncommon for people to use an image of him playing the Buddha at their altars at home.
• Most people are brown-skinned, although shades vary greatly. Fairer-skinned people are seen as more attractive.
• People generally claim to be Buddhist or Hindu, but relations are generally good between the two communities. Traditions are blurred with both groups being happy to take part in both faiths' rituals and celebrations.
  • Hindus tend to care more openly about caste and community, but Buddhists still have a sense of it when hearing someone's surname.
• You respect someone who speaks French or Brithenig, even if all you know are the basics of one from your school days. There's also a chance that you're wealthy enough to have attended a French-medium lycee run by nuns growing up. Knowing Sanskrit is a sign of wisdom and cultured-ness, and people who know it are afforded great respect for being able to read scriptures. Lately, Japanese has also risen in prominence as a language to know, as many Japanese companies have been trying to establish a presence in Indian markets.
• You very likely can get by just a little in Hindi or Marathi from watching movies and shows in those languages (subtitled in þelugu of course) but just so.
• Municipal schools are free, but the elite and wealthy send their children to French medium schools.
• College is subsidized but still usually requires some out of pocket expense. It usually lasts four years.

Everybody knows that...

• Paccadi or Indian pickles come in glass jars. Shaving cream comes in cans. Milk comes in plastic bags or glass bottles, delivered each day.
• Dates are in the YYYY/MM/DD format.
• The decimal point is a comma.
• Marriages are generally made by families, but with heavy input from the bride and groom. Marriages for love aren't unheard of. People think nothing much of Hindu/Buddhist interfaith marriages. Weddings are a long affair and generally take place in a temple.
• You'd only use the informal pronoun nuvvu with someone close to you, your mother, or a god or the Buddha during prayer.
• If you're a woman, you go to the beach in a one-piece. Two-pieces are more common among the younger generation, but still considered a little scandalous by older people.
• A nice hotel has a private bath.
• If a man has sex with another man, he's a homosexual. What someone does in their bedroom is their business, but you'd still rather your children not be homosexuals.
• You'd rather French, Hindi, and Marathi films be subtitled, but prefer dubs for most other languages.
• You can expect to have to pay bribes when dealing with the government.
• If a politician has been cheating on his wife, you see him as unfit for public office.
• Many stores don't take card, only cash.
• If someone is a hard worker and does what the job asks of them, they can expect to stay with one company from the time they begin their career to the time they retire.
• In particular, government jobs and jobs with Japanese companies are considered to be the best jobs one can find; great benefits and solid pay.
• Labour Day is something you've never heard of.

World civilization?

• Kalinga is a vibrant center of the sangha or Buddhist world. This is the land where sages wrote scriptures that would go on to form the foundation of Buddhism as a faith, particularly the Mahayana schools.
• Kalinga is full of Buddhist and Hindu temples that attract pilgrims and tourists from all over the world.
• In school you went over Indian history, particularly that of the Mauryan Empire and recent South Indian history.
• You love listening to music in þelugu as well as Hindi and Marathi.
• If you are a child, chances are you're familiar with Japanese anima such Nauta Moon.
• You've probably heard of Henry Portman and have possibly read a translation either in French or þelugu.
• People make fun of Karnatakans as being high-strung and conservative, though it's always seen as friendly ribbing between brothers.
• Kalingans generally feel a strong kinship to other Dravidian countries and Buddhist countries.
• You love watching movies, even if they're local films that don't have much substance. While Marathi and Hindi movies may be popular imports, there's always the comfort and familiarity of þelugu movies to retreat to.
• If you aspire to work abroad, chances are you want to go to Louisianne, France, or Yamato. You also very possibly know someone who knows someone who immigrated to New Francy, but that's seen as just a colder version of Louisianne.
• You haven't ever been outright conquered by another nation, but French influence was strong thanks to Yánam.
• The police are armed with batons.
• You have decent healthcare.

It is always Something...

• You feel that politicians are often self-interested and out of touch with what common people want.
• If you are Buddhist, you can sometimes feel that Hindus are provincial and more obsessed with ritual than true spirituality. In particular, you feel they're more caste obsessed than Buddhists. Of course, even Buddhists will at least care a little bit about what caste someone comes from, particularly if they want to marry your daughter.
• When a couple dies, it's common for the firstborn son to inherit most of the property.
• An elderly couple can expect their eldest son to care for them in their old age.
• Doctors are generally trustworthy, though there are some who have false diplomas to be wary of.
• You'd be hard pressed to name the heads of state of most European nations and other nations outside of India.

Space and time

• It's not uncommon to be late to appointments; after all, "Indian Standard Time" is a rule across the subcontinent!
• It's not uncommon for people to stare in the street.
• Personal space boundaries can be a little closer here, in the cities people generally stand closer together as a default.
• Haggling is a rule and not an exception in most shops.
• Mohamáta (making face) is common; it's important to keep up appearances in the community.
• It's not uncommon to just show up at a friend's place unannounced, though planning ahead is considered more polite.