LWII

Linguistic War II took place in June 2003 on the Conlang List. A typical Auxlang-styled flamewar, which taught us a lot about auxlanging in IB...

THE ATTACK OF THE EUROCLONES

Kernanto vs. Venedino

[Jan van Steenbergen] I find the term Euroclone interesting and dissatisfying enough to give it some more thinking. Here are two not-too-different definitions that I found on the Net.

Jeffrey Henning: "Euroclone - An international auxiliary language derived primarily from European stock. Most have primarily Romance vocabulary and/or use Classical roots (Greek and Latin) and/or some English roots. (Usually, but not always, used pejoratively.)"

Rick Harrison: "The term 'euroclones' refers to those language projects that closely resemble Ido or Interlingua or a hybrid of the two. These projects are numerous and are virtually indistinguishable from one another, although connoisseurs claim they can tell the difference."

Well, both definitions have their pluses and minuses. IMO an important feature of a Euroclone would be that it is based on more than one European language; a language like Basic English or *Simplified French would not qualify as a Euroclone. Another thing is that a Euroclone incorporates elements from natlangs or other Euroclones, usually in a simplified form, without having any special features on its own. In other words: if you would stand up tomorrow and proclaim Kerno as the new IAL to end all IALs, would that suddenly make it a Euroclone? [...]

[Padraic Brown] :D Well, no! It would, however, be the IAL to End All IALs! If for no other reason than that the world will unite and forever revolt against the very notion o IALs!! ;)))

[JvS] Cool. I'll be the first to learn Kernanto, then!

No no NOOOO! That's "le Kernanto"!!!!! Only the hated and heretical Kernonantistas don't have the article there! You know, they left the Communitats in a huff cos of their claims that the rules governing article use were too nebulous. Typical! They just couldn't get behind the project and make it work!

Hmm. Wouldn't at least a small faction have left the movement because of a conflict about the idea of abolishing at least one past tense and simplifying the ending -ck into -cq, thus giving birth to "le/la/ill/- Kernantido"?

Don't even _mention_ those linguapunks! We saw that they were capital T trouble right from the start! Why, the very Fundaments of Kernanto bans these wannabes from IALland forever!!!!!!

You shouldn't worry too much about them. A bunch of these freaks have been signalled lately in the RTC, trying to proclaim a new IAL To End All IALs, Venedino! Easier to learn, they figured. No articles. Ha! They can't even get the pronunciation right!

Hah! You know you've got them beat when they flit from the One And Only IAL to some other language!

You dare to call Venedino "some other language"? You are speaking about the One And Only IAL here! Their mistake that they were being misled before!

[JvS] No, because it has too many original features of its own (not to mention the fact that its grammar isn't exactly what one would call "simplified").

Oh, I don't know...I find it pretty easy! :)

Ha! But no so easy as Wenedyk. All you need to do, is learning four cases, three genders, five tenses, four moods, and only a few irregular verbs, besides practicing the sibilants a bit and installing a special keyboard definition on your computer!

Holy Saints preserve us!

THE EUROCLONES STRIKE BACK!

[JvS] You dare to call Venedino "some other language"?

[PB] Bof!! "Venedion"! What a larf! Oo, we're shaking in our boots and no mistake!

"Venedion"? That sounds Tolkienesque! Hmm, something to consider... Don't worry too much about Venedino, BTW.

Oh we're not! It's clearly a Sexond Rate "auxlang" whose ideas were totally stolen from The One And Only IAL!!!

The One And Only IAL?! You mean Kernanto?

Don't you know it, you copy-catters! I mean, if you _must_ try your hand at (needlessly!) creating a new IAL, at least don't copy our Fundamnto verbatim! Sheesh!

Ahem! *Your* Fundamento?! It might have escaped your attention that your fundamento is nothing but a bad translation from *our* Fundamento, which was there long before the conceivers of Kernopanto were even born!

Hah! What a larf! You Venedinistes are so full of so much hooey!

In fact, our scientists have found sufficient evidence that Adam and Eve already communicated in Venedino.

That's impossible! Not only are the Venedinistes full of BS in stealing their Fundamento from us, but they can introduce no better "evidence" than Adam and Eve! Come on! The whole world knows that Interkernopantolingua (THE One and Only IAL for the whole World - and don't you believe those Kernopantist schismatics!) was spoken by God himself when he created the universe! Afterall, it says so right in the bible: "dÌÁqavÔstÏxÍrˇt dÈÙÔs: fˇˇÓ·t l˚ÁqËss."

From our Fundamento:
"Venedino is the Most Perfect, the Most Universal, the One and Only True IAL yet devised by the mind of humankind. It is the language of all times - past, present, and future. No other can compare; e.g., Esperanto, Volapuko, Kernanto, Kernopanto - they make the whole world laugh at how ludicrously insufficient they are."

See!? I mean, how ludicrous is that? What a second rate pastiche of several lesser IAL's fundamentos!

Ha, don't make me laugh! Just wait and see: when one nation after another starts to adopt Venedino as its One and Only Language, then those Kernanto promoting heretics, who have obstructed The Right Way from the beginning till the end, will simply be nowhere.

Huh! That's what you think? Clearly you Venedinistes are totally out of touch with humanity and the needs of the world you claim to live in!

But of course, they have nothing to fear. Not much at least. All they need is some severe reeducation, that's all!

Besides, Venedino's ideas were not stolen at all, but just adopted from The One And Only Wenedyk.

Don't forget that Esperanto was born in the RTC, and - no matter how much I fight it - is still popular there. Criticism Zamenhof, or trying to improve Esperanto, is considered an unforgivable kind of heresy. So be warned!

Well. Foreigners can do as they please I am sure!!

They will, be sure!

You are speaking about the One And Only IAL here!

Jocko-come-alate!

Their mistake that they were being misled before!

Their true mistake is that they're being misled now!!

Just wait until you see the first samples of Venedino. It's extremely easy! Some auxlangs claim that they can be learnt in two days, but Venedino goes much further: you don't need to learn it at all!!

I.e., it's not worth learning! Reason being, the whole world has seen the sense in picking up Kernopanto - the all new, One and Only IAL for the whole universe!

Kernopanto? Ah, you see? Apparently Kernanto was such a complete failure that they even had to change its name (into an even uglier one, but that aside!).

Uglier!? Try "more perfect" and "more universal"! The new Fundamento states it right there in print: "Kernopanto is the most perfect, most universal IAL yet devised by the mind of humankind. No other can compare; e.g., Esperanto, Volapuke, Venedino - they make the whole world laugh at how ludicrously insufficient they are."

Should I be impressed now?

You Venedinistes should, as is the rest of the World, flock to the One and Only IAL suitable for the true world communication! It is the easiest to learn, has a cool simple to grasp orthography, and if we can dupe the UN, will soon have guns to back it up! Sod all you losers! :PP

Well, Kernopanto isn't much of a threat anymore, is it? My agents informated me that the Kernopanto movement has split in two halves: the other speaker decided to quit and promote another language, Kernoklono, instead. What a fraud!

Quite. We can't have spoilsports. The schismatics have been sacked.

Anyway,

Yes, ANYWAY - none of your line of "reasoning" has even come close to demonstrating the superiority to Interkernopantolingua. I mean, just look at the names: Interkernopantolingua compared to the oh so wimpy "Weenydeeno". Go back to the drawing board!

this text only proves that those Kernopantos are nothing but thieves, not even worth the effort of suing them for plagiarism.

Like you could win!

In fact, they can use our Fundamento for whatever purpose they like. Venedino, after all, is a perfect and universal language, which is an objective fact that does not need to be emphasised by any kind of propaganda.

So say the backers of a truly Losing Language! You know it! Interkernopantolingua is The Way to Go!

Let's make it the One and Only IAL for the whole universe, except Earth! Anyway, whatever signals you transmit into deep space in Kernanto, I doubt whether the space aliens will pick it up easily, with all these articles!

Nonsense! We have recieved the several replies.

Yeah, like this one: "We wanted to come peacefully and bring you the cure to all disease, but then we heard this poor excuse for a language, and we decided we might as well exterminate you right away. Farewell, Earth!"

Typical propaganda!

Venedino at least doesn't have those!

I.e., it is the totally insufficient IAL for the international (and the future interplanetary) communication! You Venedinistes have got to be kidding - even the your neighbouring Volvolinkvo is a step up!

You mean those copycats from Scandinavia?! I'm surprised that there is even one person in this world who knows about them,

Sheesh - one fewer speaker than Venedino and you make them out to be ... Oh I get it! Since there's only _one_ speaker of Venedino! Clever!

but I observe with satisfaction that your knowledge about them is limited.

Volvolinkvo is irrelevant.

Let me enlighten you: they are just a bunch of traitors and heretics!

Typical of weak IAL movements like yours.

First they pretended to share the noble ideals of the Venedino movement, but what they did in fact was nothing but sabotage.

You mean they tried to improve that rubbish, then gave up when they realised it is total bunk! [Unlike our own heretics, who are sacked for entirely different reasons!]

They even tried to gain support for a monster they called "Venedino Sen Flekso, Artikulos e Diakritikos"!

Name's too long. It'll never fly.

Needless to say that the true Venedinistos remained faithful to The Right Way. Because of their utter lack of success, the traitors renamed their miserable creature "Volvolinkvo" in a fruitless effort to spoil the souls of innocent idealists. Nothing to worry about. They hardly succeed even in concealing the fact that they are just agents of Scandinavian capitalism and imperialism!

MORE ABOUT VENEDINO

[JvS] They even tried to gain support for a monster they called "Venedino Sen Flekso, Artikulos e Diakritikos"!

[Andreas Johansson] Lemme get this straght: They call the thing "Venedino Sen _Flekso_, Artikulo_s_ e Diakritiko_s_"? That seems pretty rich even by the standards of IALers ...

[PB] Just goes to show how shaky and about to crumble the whole Venedino house of cards really is!!!!!

[Thomas Wier] Is this a plural marker? If so, how is that rich inflection?

Given the euroclonic appearance of the thing, it seems hard to escape the suspicion that -s marks plural, and that the name means "Venedino sans inflection, articles and diacritics". I didn't mean mean "rich" in as in "rich" inflection, but as in "over the top" - having a name that utilizes the very things the very name proclaims the thing not to have.

[JvS] Well, I am not exactly going to defend Venedino SFAED, which is now named Volvolinkvo (rumor has it that the new name was merely a gesture towards the authorities of the Scandinavian Realm, the only European country naive enough to host them after they had been forced to escape the R.T.C.). But even this nasty little rogue language is entitled to have its plurals, isn't it?

Unnecessary to add that this solution didn't come easily, though. The so-called "plural problem" caused the Venedino SFAED movement to split up into three camps:

• the fundamentalists, who were radically opposed towards *any* kind of inflection, including plurals. Their version is commonly known as "Venedino sen Pluralo", although its official name is Venedino SFAPED;
• the small minority who wanted a plural on -j. Some of them left the Venedino SFAED movement as well and founded the Venedikanto movement;
• the realists, who advocated a plural on -s (after all, that's what almost every language has for its plurals, they figured). The reason they were so fiercely against the -j was twofold: they considered the -s ending a serious improvement over Esperanto, and they just didn't want to turn the clock back. Besides, they feared that the complicated vowel clusters that might turn out to be hard to pronounce for parts of the World Population (1).

So yes, -s is a plural marker. Interestingly, it originates from two entirely independent sources: the plural marker -s, that exists in so many languages, and the Indonesian -2, which looks pretty much like -s when reverted. Don't ask me why, but the Volvolinkvo pioneers found this a jolly good idea. They went even further: Volvolinkvo allows four slightly different ways to pronounce this -s:

• like -s;
• like -j (just to appease the few remaining -j advocates);
• it can be silent;
• the preceding word can be reduplicated (the name of the language will then sound: /venedino sen fleksio artiklo artiklo e diakritiko diakritiko/)

Kordialemente,
Il Magnomagno Magistro de Lenkvo Venedino.

(1) Of course, they were not entirely consequent in their crusade against overcomplicated vowel clusters. Look at the very name of the language: "Venedino Sen Flek_so_" (instead of *fleksio), but then it says: "d_ia_kritikos"! You see? Those frauds can't even apply their own rules properly!

THE BATTLE CONTINUES

Hah! What a larf! You Venedinistes are so full of so much hooey!

Ah, at least our hooey makes perfect sense,

Perfect sense if your native language is Babblegibberish! The whole point, which you Venedinistes and Volvonians have failed miserably to grasp, is that an IAL must make perfect sense to _everyone_ in the world. That language can only be Neokernopanto Nova.

Neowhat? Never heard of it.

What a surprise! The R.T.C. is probably the most backward country in Europe!

Backward?!!

Backassward, pal! _Especially_ in your dogged deathgrip on that worthless VOS of yours!

I can see that you never went for a ride in one of our lovely little zeppelins (which are among the best in the world), nor did you ever enjoy the comfort and the luxury of our exclusive zeppelimos! No, you would never have called us "backward" if you had ever hugged a real Venedic teddybear. Who's backward here? Isn't D˚nein the poorest region in Europe (all the more shocking if you take into account that it is part of a rich country)?

mmf.

The whole world is turning to N-o Nova as the IAL of choice, and you've "never heard of it"?

No, unlike yours, our newspapers only write about IMPORTANT stuff. But now that you mention it: I think I have heard the word "nono", once.

Probably Kernantoclone no. 557. How many speakers? Zero or one? Well, I wish you good luck :P~~~

A large speakership that is rapidly increasing everyday.

Congratulations with your second speaker, then! I'm impressed! Continue like that, and you might even reach the status of VOS after approx. three million years.

This is _not_ an arguable point!

People who fear arguments shouldn't generally be trusted!

On account of it being a fact. It is not us who "fear arguments", but we do wish to spare you the ignominy of losing the arguments you make!

Turzyna mrzoda!

See? Total gibberish!

Bah, you just can't appreciate true beauty!

You just don't have any arguments, that's all.

which definitely cannot be said of the inferior stuff the (Inter)ker((op)anto)linguistos usually spoil the environment with.

That's impossible! Not only are the Venedinistes full of BS in stealing their Fundamento from us, but they can introduce no better "evidence" than Adam and Eve! Come on! The whole world knows that Interkernopantolingua (THE One and Only IAL for the whole World - and don't you believe those Kernopantist schismatics!) was spoken by God himself when he created the universe! Afterall, it says so right in the bible: "dÌÁqavÔstÏxÍrˇt dÈÙÔs: fˇˇÓ·t l˚ÁqËss."

Don't allow them to mislead you! Indeed, He said it right, but not in this Aluri-Romance mistranslation, which is also incomplete (it actually means: "Disco visits are out of order! Find your luck [somewhere else]").

That is total horse hockey! Your own RTC compatriot, Dro. Lingvo, has totally debunked the "science" and "history" claimed by you Venedinistes to support your watered down attempts at a true IAL!

Ah, don't speak to me about Dro. Lingvo. In a grey and distant past, we used to work together on Venedikanto Omniversala Supernova.

Yes, "Projekt VOS"; we're all familiar with it.

Until I discovered what his true motives were: to obstruct the irreversible development of the One and Only Language.

Typical Venediniste tactic: attack the man when he sees sense and you don't!

If you'll ever meet a Vened who would do that, he has probably spent too much time in Kemr, where we all know such things are common practice.

Worse of all, he was a Kemrese infiltrant, and he spent his bribes on expensive cars and hotels.

So? Would you have him spend his money on _cheap_ cars and hotels?

He ought not to have any money at all, the lazy bastard! OTOH, the fact that the FK spent so much money on bribing him only proves how powerful the Venedikanto Omniversala Supernova movement was!

Obviously not powerful enough, if one of their own topples so readily! Face it: you have no basis! Your top personnel are easily boughten by a few pound notes!

They never were top personnel in the first place. I mean, Dro. Lingvo's responsabilities were limited to carrying out the trashcans. It's not my fault that the Kernopanto leadership paid him huge amounts of money in return for the contents of these trashcans, obviously desperately looking for inspiration.

He also visited prostitutes.

And? They were all licensed.

Not a compatriot at all! And BTW: Dro. Lingvo is not a real doctor at all. In fact, he didn't even finish primary school!

Yet has proven more intelligent and educated than the average Venediniste!!

No, what he really said is this: "U szy lucz." He tried in several languages, but only in Venedino it worked, and from that moment on Venedino was The One and Only Language Of The World.

That, of course, is so patently false no counter argument is even required.

Almost. You actually mean to say: no counterargument is ever available, right?

Hardly!

Because it is an undeniable truth. Ha, one more victory on the account of Venedino and its legitimate successor, Venedikanto Omniversala Supernova!

Watch how their project splinters apart and blows away like the house of cards that it surely is!

See!? I mean, how ludicrous is that? What a second rate pastiche of several lesser IAL's fundamentos!

That's what educated people call "universal"!

Only if by "educated" you mean "brainwashed by the political arm of Venedismo"! What everyone else in the world calls it is "plagarism"!!

The Venedikanto movement doesn't have a political arm, because its truths are universal. And what you call "brainwashed" is nothing more or less than "having seen the light"! And "plagiarism"? This accusation is so completely and utterly false, that I won't lower myself into defending myself against that!

Cos you know you have no defense! Every iota of Venedino and its related "languages" have been in one way or another copied directly from some other IAL, usually ours! Just admit it - you find our solution so compelling and perfect that you just can't come up with anything more original than a copy of our work!

If VOS would share even one feature with Neokernono, that's only because our language was over-perfect for a while. Therefore, we might have adopted some inferior foreign garbage to make it *simply perfect*. Balance, you see?

The usual propaganda, I see!

You might as well come join the Real Thing!

And spend the rest of our lives on an isolated small island longing for some civilisation? Thank you politely. You are, however, always welcome to cross that sea of yours and visit the real world. I guarantee you that you will soon discover how futile your auxlang efforts have been, notwithstanding some potential good intentions. We can always use creative minds, and the "Unlearn Neokernopanto Nova in Three Days" Course will be free of charge.

We are not responsible for the fact that those lesser IALs stole parts of our text without even understanding the deeper sense of it!

TO the contrary, the creator(s) of Venedino _are_ responsible for copying from _our_ Fundamento!

_Your_ Fundamento? Never heard of it! Which proves that I can't have copied it.

Total BS. It's a word-for-word "translation"!

Our Fundamento is a reflection of universal truth.

It's a _translation_ of universal Truth - the Truth of N-o Nova, and you bloody well know it!

Grrrr, why am I still reading this?!?!

_Your_ Fundamento, as you observed correctly for a change, is nothing but 'a word-for-word "translation"'!

After all, I simply don't have the time to keep track of all those cheap imitations of our Fundamento.

You Venedinistes should, as is the rest of the World, flock to the One and Only IAL suitable for the true world communication! It is the easiest to learn, has a cool simple to grasp orthography,

Interehhh... -k-k-kernopantolingua, you mean? Don't make me laugh! If you ever succeed in finding some naive, innocent soul stupid enough to waste his time on poor efforts to actually learn this useless language, he'll probably need at least half for memorising its name!

Bah! I don't know why I waste my time with you!!!

Nor do I know why I waste my time with you! People who don't want to listen to reason could better be neglected!

Exactly!

_SOME_ people just aren't ready to step into the new century - the century that will be speaking Neokernopanto Nova!!

Bof! Nothing but cheap propaganda, without a single real argument! Do you really think people are going to swallow that nonsense?

Absolutely! Though, it's hardly nonsense!

The only language that qualifies to be the language of the new century is of course Venedicanto Omniversala Supernova! It is universal, because any speaker of no matter what language can immediately understand it, without any special preparation.

Patently false. If that were true, VOS International wouldn't offer its free postal course "VOS In 10 EASY LESSONS!

Of course, we offer all kinds of help and assistance to our devotees.

(The other 100 are Mindnumbingly Difficult!)"

Well, for a Neokernopantonononisto anything would be mindnumbingly difficult, even a simple calculation like 1 + 1 = 2!

Which can definitely not be said of your Neokernopanto Nova,

A lie, pure and simple! Our grammatical system is so easy, our lexicon so international that we don't even _bother_ to publish a grammar anymore.

True, it would be a complete waste of paper! And nobody would care to read it anyway!

People just pick it up that easily!

And throw it away even more easily! :D~~~

which requires at least ten years of intensive study before a person can produce even a simple sentence.

That would be your VOS, right?

Well, the fact that the average Kernopanto speaker cannot produce even a simple sentence is rather a matter of IQ, I'm afraid. What can you expect of someone who can't even express himself in his own language?

And _what_ is that supposed to mean!?

That means that even the most fluent speaker of Neokernopanto Nova (if there exists any) would hardly be able to say "Hello" in it. Well, if such a simple thing causes him so much trouble, how would you expect him to order three beer (as if the waiter would understand it, anyway)?

Ah, I thought that was a dig at Kerno speakers, who are quite capable of saying "hello"!

and if we can dupe the UN, will soon have guns to back it up! Sod all you losers! :PP

Did you notice that, people? Interkernopantolingua's true face showing up! Never say that I didn't warn you!

Hah! All intelligent people are working towards a newly unified Earth, encompassing all nations and peoples - and the One True IAL to Bind Them.

Exactly! And this One True IAL is Venedikanto Omniversala Supernova! Frauds who claim differently shouldn't be trusted!

THen we can not trust you, that's for sure!

Only medieval dissenters such as the Venedinistes and Esperantistes are still belaboured by the misconception that theit own puny efforts will serve mankind as well!

Nah, don't be tough on Venedino. It had some nice features, and could surely have served some minor purpose in the Stone Age. But for the rest, it sucks.

Exactly! TOtal suckdom!

Just look: no articles, can you believe that?!

Yeah. What!? Articles? Who needs articles! Simplify, man, simplify! N-o Nova has _no_ articles whatsoever! This is one of the most attractive features for many thousands of speakers the world over!

Pity! A language without articles is a language without a future!

So, you admit that VOS has no future! There is help for you yet!

VOS *is* the future!

And then this horrible Venedocentrism! Imagine, that word for "Lithuanian" was exactly the same as the word for "worthless piece of faeces")! No, it's A Good Thing that those fascists are passÈ forever now! Venedikanto Omniversala Supernova is completely different (to illustrate this, note that our word for "Lithuanian" is homonym to "nice doggy"!)

Typical of your average Eastern European IAL: overloaded with ethnonyms. Our streamlined system has boiled the whole thing down to US v. THEM. Neat as you please!

I admit, that is a neat feature. Pity that you evidently stole it from Proto-Intervenedial.

Them are the bastards that stole it from _us_!

By no means! Proto-Intervenedial was already ancient long before the first Kernopanto speaker left his tree. Bah, he should have stayed there!

Quite. We can't have spoilsports. The schismatics have been sacked.

Good thing! The language sucks,

Typical tactic used by Venedidiots who have come to the end of what little logic and sense their "argument" ever had -- personal insults!

If you confuse the objective statement of a fact with an insult, then I'd say you take a serious look at your language!

Perfection on earth!

but at least Interkernopeanolingua knows how to deal with dissidents. The Venedinistos are still much human for such an approach.

Yes, ANYWAY - none of your line of "reasoning" has even come close to demonstrating the superiority to Interkernopantolingua. I mean,

Pure propaganda!

It's the truth, and you know it! If it's your claim that our Manifesto is propaganda, then prove it! You know you can not - for any sensible person that reads our Manifesto will instantly see the Truth of it and will also know the falsity of your own inferior ramblings!

Oh, I admit that there are some good parts is your Manifesto.

That is to say, "cover to cover".

What?! Are you really wasting precious bookbinding material to cover those lousy two sentences? O tempora, o mores!

Nah. Clearly you VOSistes don't have the brain capacity to figure out how to actually get beyond the front cover!

Aargh, you wouldn't have said that it you had read even 0,005 % of our Fundamento (not surprisingly, because even these 0,005 % are already enough to fill up a whole library).

You'll find the whole Truth clearly presented in the Manifesto. All 6183 pages of it, inculding appendices on the history of the IAL struggle, and appendices on all those poor losers, like VOS, that litter the trail to the unenlightened Past!

Only 6183 pages?! So I am just talking to an absolute beginner?! Only the first (welcoming) sentence of our Fundamento is already 6324 pages long. But on second thought, I think even one page of NoNa is already too much. I mean, who would ever care to read it, let alone pay money for it?

Unfortunately, exactly the same parts that were copied literally from the Fundamento of Venedikanto Omniversala Supernova. The rest, needless to say, isn't worth the paper it is printed on. And of course your Manifesto is propaganda - what else could it be?

It's the supreme auxlang Truth, and you know it! How could it be anything else! Even the Esperantists are flocking to our banner! I-a is practically dead, and their speakers are now learning N-o Nova!

Well, perhaps in some crazy alternate timeline, that you are of course free to fantasise about. However, in real IB life there is only one future, and that future is speaking VOS!

Now it's _thou_ who are fantasising! VOS has no part in the Future!

As I said, VOS *is* the Future!

All other aux- and natlangs, including E-o, I-a, N-o, N-a and E-sh, are moribund.

You can only dream!

just look at the names: Interkernopantolingua compared to the oh so wimpy "Weenydeeno". Go back to the drawing board!

Absolutely never! Venedino is beautiful in its simplicity, mellifluous and sweet-sounding, universal in its deeper understanding of the truth. Completely unlike Inter... - what was it again?

Like you could win!

Of course we would win!

Yeah - maybe on Peoples' Court! Try the real justice system. You'll soon learn that your case holds no water!

But we are kind-hearted people, so we'll leave the poor suckers alone.

Yet you're willing to sucker in all sorts of poor stooges that would be better served by Neokernopanto Nova, the One and Only IAL that Everyone Needs!

... that Everyone Needs To Neglect Or Else To Forget About!

VOS, yes of course!

You know it! Interkernopantolingua is The Way to Go!

Indeed, it is The Way To Go Straight To Hell!

Typical propaganda!

Ah, you see, people? When they run out of arguments, they always do that! What a pity that it is so utterly transparent!

What? Expose the fallacy of your so called argument? Only a total nutball could possibly read that and think it were true!

Again, I spot a painful lack of real arguments here.

Ah, so you've reread your own postings!

Apparently, those Neokernopeantos think that the loudest shouter is by definition always right. Luckily, we (and with us the rest of the world) know better!

Sheesh - one fewer speaker than Venedino and you make them out to be ... Oh I get it! Since there's only _one_ speaker of Venedino! Clever!

Ah, no! Millions and millions of people are already preparing for the great day when Venedino finally takes over the world! By that time, I think it is safe to esteem the percentage of Venedino speakers 99,98 % of the world population.

What world are you living on, anyway?

Not a Neokernopantonovaless world, unfortunately... yet! I wonder if we shouldn't simply nuke that insignificant little island of yours away from its face.

Oh ho! Now it comes out! You're just one o them anti-Kemrese, Brtion-hating, wish you could have scored more than "0" against us in the footy game last week Whiny Wheneds!

Hey, what woud you expect, eh?

It's no worse than I expected! You Veneds can't make a sensible IAL; and you can't play footy to save yer sorry hides!

It wasn't a fair game at all. First of all, it is always raining over there, and our players are used to playing on grass, not in a swimming pool!

Well, sod you!

The poor guys didn't stand a chance from the beginning,

Of course not! Your national "team" sucks rotten tomatoes!

Our sportsmen are among the best of the world.

_Amongst_ being the operative word there! In the same sense that a fan who visits the team's locker room is also "amongst" the best athletes in the world! ;)

And what's more: they play fair, which cannot be said of those Kemrese players, who do *anything* for money (yes, even sucking rotten tomatoes)!

Grr.

<and now, snip a truckload full of crappy NoNa propaganda, that isn't even worth replying to>

especially because the arbiter was blackmailed by the chairperson of FC Castreleon and his wife.

Now, _that_ is as bald faced a lie as you've said yet!

You think all your problems can be solved by bombing Britain.

No, not really. Sinking it would be an option, too!

See?

_This_ world is clearly moving in the Sensible Direction: towards universal acceptance of Neokernopanto Nova! Even your own benighted R.T.C. will one day soon laugh at its own folly in trying Venedion. Every Venedetian will soon happily abandon that unusable gibberish you call an IAL and will flock to the banner of the Neokernopantistes!

Now this is were you really lose the last remnants of touch with reality. Even a single Vened learning Neokernopanto? Hahahaha. The mere idea makes me laugh!

Then you will be laughing alone!

Me and my eight billion followers, you mean!

Yeah. You still dream big!

Even the very name of the language would be inpronounceable. But don't worry, here is the solution for you: in Dancyk, I will make an appointment for you with Dr. Mazurzyk, the eminent psychiatrist who is specialised in treating linguistically deluded patients. I'm sure he will be able to find a cure, even for you!

No cure needed, except for your own delusions of grandeur! I suggest _you_ get an appointment with your quack!

Already been there.

Did his degree have "(C) 1998, Borden & Co." on? - THOUGHT SO!!!

Not at all. In fact, he was even nominated for the Nobel Prize. If it wasn't for Kemrese machinations, he would definitely have received it!

After nine seconds the doctor wanted to learn VOS.

Probably got tired of your incessant prosletysing - anything to get you out of his office quickly!

Five minutes later, he was already quite fluent in it, and after five more minutes, he was ready to dedicate his life to promoting it.

Ah, you have a gun to his head. Yep - that'll do it!

No, we Venedikantistos are peaceful people. We don't carry guns. I just let him smell the scent of "How to learn Venedikanto in 2-3 minutes?", part 1. That was already enough to convince him forever.

Volvolinkvo is irrelevant.

For once we agree! Volvolinkvo is not only irrelevant, it is nothing. Zilch!

Just like its Venedino predecessor!

Yes, yes. They are nothing in comparison to Venedianto Omniversala Supernova.

Oh, I say they're totally comparable! None of them are as demonstrably easy to pronounce, read, write or learn very quickly as N-o Nova!

Learn N-o Nova quickly? Good heavens, one would need at least twenty years to understand the *basics* of Neokernopanto's mutation system.

Hardly! It's a perfectly organic and natural system!

Now, enough is enough! NN is nothing, nothing, nothing at all, and you know it darn well! It is the worst and the ugliest auxlang ever created in the world, it is completely impossible to learn or even to pronounce! Only a complete pervert would ever claim it's beautiful. I won't even mention its hidden political agenda!

The whole world knows it: "Kernopanto sux, Venedikanto rulez!" So stop fighting for a lost cause, and join our glorious movement. Even for you, it is not too late!

Not even to mention all those horrible vowel clusters and consonant ditos.

Rien du tout! Lousy pack of heretics... We'll deal with them when hour U is there.

Typical of weak IAL movements like yours.

On the contrary, quite typical for strong IAL movements like mine (actually, that is a misformulation, because Venedino is the One and Only IAL, incomparable to other would-be IALs like Interkernopantolingua or whatever its name is). The thing is, the proponents of all those small, insignificant euroclones obviously feel threatened by the rise of such a giant;

Well, naturally. Such a bloated, insensible, inchoate "giant" as is Venedino will naturally collapse of its own distended weight! Who would want to be in its way?

Venedino hasn't exactly collapsed, I'd rather say it floated away because of its lack of weight.

I'd say it imploded and sank in a mess of stink that yet taints your ridiculous VOSisme!

That's no way to address the Language of Languages!

If only!

Once again, it was a sympathetic language, but just nothing compared to Venedikanto Omniversala Supernova.

they even feel they need to penetrate the Venedino movement with undercover agitators, whose only task it is to obstruct the process...

No need! V. will collapse of its own weaknesses!!

I wouldn't be surprised if Volvolinkvo was actually the work of a Interkernopantolinguistic infiltrant!

A bald faced lie if ever I heard one!!

You mean they tried to improve that rubbish, then gave up when they realised it is total bunk!

Au contraire, they were paid by foreign powers to turn a wonder of nature into garbage. They didn't stand a chance, of course, but still - the mere idea!

[Unlike our own heretics, who are sacked for entirely different reasons!]

Of course, your heretics were sacked because they were the only ones who had something sensible to say. They even used ARGUMENTS. Well, that was something previously completely unheard of in the (Inter)Kerpopeanto(lingua) movement!

Typical twisting of the truth that you Venedinistes are so fond of!! If it weren't such an important humanitarian task to expose your lies and deceit, I wouldn't even waste my time with your feeble "IAL"!

In other words: you are shamelessly exploiting a true, noble, universal tongue for your own low and selfish purposes. The only real waste of your time is trying to revive a corpse. Logically, promoting Neokernopanto Nova is equal to necrophilia, and should therefore be forbidden by law.

Now that is beyond the pale! Typical little Tin Hessler: you can't come out and fight fair and square, so you resort to unethical tactics!

Any tactics to save the world from N-o N-a are ethical by definition!

(They even tried to gain support for a monster they called "Venedino Sen Flekso, Artikulos e Diakritikos"!)
Name's too long. It'll never fly.

Oh, that's true. But well, it didn't last long anyway. On the other hand, I hear that most members of the Interkernopantolingua movement have left.

There were no such members! They never existed!!! That is a total lie!!!!!!

Ah, now I understand. So you admit that the whole (Inter)kernopanto(lingua) movement never had any members! Well, well!

Yet another twisting of the truth! Will your base accusations have no end?

Accusations!? I just repeated word for word what you wrote yourself in a scarce moment of honesty.

Trying to cover your lies with a nother lie?

Evidently, they had enough of an inferior language that is not worth to effort of fighting for, and decided to start a new language. It is called "Intereurokosmerantidossala" and seems to be quite successful among former supporters of Kernanto, Kernoklono, Kernopanto, Interkernopantolingua... probably because it is modelled completely after Venedino. Anyway, they are kindly invited to join our movement and dwell among the chosen.

You are so deluded! Any intelligent person can see the Truth!

Indeed, and that intelligent person happens to be me.

Then you _must_ abandon VOS in favour of N-o Nova, if you really are intelligent!

And the Truth happens to be Venedikanto Omniversala Supernova. Period.

Just goes to show how shaky and about to crumble the whole Venedino house of cards really is!!!!!

I beg your pardon? You are talking about Venedino SFAED, a useless, inferior, doomed language that has NOTHING in common with Venedino proper!

Six of one, half dozen of the other! Both of them are moribund anyway - and a good thing too!

A good thing, indeed, because they free the path for the One and Only etc.

A LULL IN THE FIGHTING

[PB] Whew! I wonder what keeps the _real_ IALers going!? All that's hard work! Yet it seems to come so naturally to them...

Yes, indeed :) . Well, many years of experience, I suppose...

[Hanuman Zhang] But even before the experience, die-hard fanatical AuxLangers had something kinda wrong with them to begin with: i.e. a confrontational personality; a deep pathological need to belong to some underdog cause; a Messiah Complex, etc..

Also there tends to be a strong undercurrent of needing control and order -_theirs_ and only _theirs_. So a lotta IALers are natural born control-freaks.

[PB] What _have_ we unleashed!? And it appears to be a product of IB.

Well, we discovered at least one fact: the R.T.C.'s main export product - apart from teddy-bears, chocolate, and small family zeppelins that have the unpleasant habit of exploding in mid-air - is IALs!

Saints preserve us all!

Well, at least, no one else has had the insensibility to set an auxlang against the One and Only! (Apart from you, anyway!) ;)))

Indeed, apart from you! Jovianto and Narbonido are much too silent... I wouldn't trust them.

Nah. Worthless pack of gibberish. Not much better than your own VOS, for that matter!

By far inferior to VOS, but better at least than N-o N-a.

Yoiks! Run for your lives!!

Hehe. If we had fought our little flamewar on Auxlang instead of here, we'd probably be dead by now.

I'm not sure we could pull it off, really. I think Zhang is right: there must be something slightly pathological about the lot of them!

Well, browsing the Auxlang archives I get the impression that some of them are actually quite nice people... Although the taboo on Hitler comparisons seems to be broken there much more frequently than here.

:) Hey! - I only broke it once!

Well, at least we can both agree two points: one, we can safely agree that "there is One True IAL for the Entire World" and two, "we can each say with total honesty 'and it is mine' "!

Indeed! ;))

THE ADVANCE OF THE LESSER GODS

[JvS] Indeed, apart from you! Jovianto and Narbonido are much too silent... I wouldn't trust them.

Jovianto

[Christian Thalmann] That's quite simple to explain. Narbonido is silent because it's dead.

[JvS] Indeed!

Jovianto is silent because it outclasses any and all other IALs hands-down.

Nonsense! It is silent because no one wants to take the effort to learn it - and rightly so!

Your need for rabid bickering amongst each other clearly leaves no doubt about the desperate hopelessness of your situation.

Ah, but that is not bickering. I was just trying to save a poor, lost soul!

All I have to do to prove my point is to wait a year or two and watch Jovianto conquer the world like wildfire.

Heck, even a twenty page legal contract in J-o is more intuitively understandable than "Hello, how are you?" in VOS or NN.

So, how would you explain the fact, that in the League of Nations' "Short Comparative Survey Into The Intelligability Of International Auxiliary Languages" Jovianto ends last, by far? Sheesh, even the Jervans themselves can neither understand nor speak it!

That's clearly related to the facts that the LoN officials deny having ever commissioned such a survey,

Obviously, your spokesperson was a member of the Jervan delegation, who are notorious for being almost permanently drunk and rarely attending meetings where really important decisions are made.

and its release can be traced back to an IP belonging to www.vos-a-siamprz.wn.

What an abject nonsense! There is no such site! And if there had been, it would never have falsified decision of such a respectable body as the LON. BTW Our address is www.vosasiamprz.wn!

Such an offensive hoax is a crime, of course, but these people probably don't even know, given that their law books are all written in incomprehensible babble.

If VOS is incomprehensible to you, that gives more info about your IQ than about our VOS. VOS is the simplest, easiest, comprehendiblest, and prettiest auxlang around. Its purity and beauty even surpass most natlangs, except for Wenedyk.

Absolutely! It's a totally bogus report, circulated by VOS fanatics in order to hype up support for their so called IAL.

Bah, of course the report was true (and still is). But I'm not surprised, because NN scored pretty badly in it. The fact that you even try to undermine the LON's authority only proves how desperate you are for finding a minimum of support for you langy.

The LoN is already in our pocket, if truth be told. This is a typical tactic of VOS International!

In your pocket, eh? So why do you think the creator of VOS was invited, no, begged, to become honorary secretary-general of the LON? Because the NN movement control the LON? Oh, come on, even you must know better! BTW Despite the great honour, he gently turned the proposition down with the historic words: "No thank you, but I have more important things to do."

Let me just add that "Jovianto" wouldn't sound bad at all. Christian?

Definitely. Nomen es omen. What did you expect? Nothing less than perfection.

Hey, THAT I haven't said!

Seimantodhi

[Daniel Andreasson] Oh, but you forget about The Truly One And Only Ever To Be Trusted Best International Auxilliary Language Ever... Let me introduce to you all, the Seimi /SEjmI/ people of the Shetland Islands proudly presents...

[JvS] What, the Seimi people? All three of them?!!

[PB] Nah. There's three that propose this "Seimanto" nonsense. All the others surely have seen the sense in learning N-o Nova!

Seimanto!!! Surely you must have heard of Seimanto, but probably by its more popular name "Shame Unto Thee", or, with The One And Only True Spelling: Seimantodhi.

Sorry, but even the very names of both creatures are completely unpronounceable for 99,5 % of the world's population. Both vowel and consonant clusters, and that in an auxlang! No, nice try, but no cigar!

For an also ran, it beats VOS hands down!

Seimantodhi is the language to outshine all other languages I tell you! Once you've seen the beauty and regularity of Seimantodhi, you will know that your feeble tries at launching your own laughable languages are just ridiculous!

Seimantodhi will spread throughout Ill Bethisad and conquer it all! Mwahahahahahaha!!!

Dammit. Now it seems that Britain is not the only island that just begs to be nuked away! ***mumblemumblecrazylappsmumblewhodotheythinktheyare***

Narbonido

[Christophe Grandsire] Well, Jovianto is silent because it doesn't exist.

[JvS] Nah, it is also mentioned in the League Of Nations survey, in the sentence: "Oh yes, there is also a small insignificant auxlang called Jovianto, but nothing worth mentioning."

It was a joke made by a few Jovian students drunk from this strange liquid they dare call "wine", and unfortunately some people (mostly against it) took it seriously.

[CTh] I could take that more seriously from someone who doesn't use "Jovian" as if it were a nationality.

Don't take pure typos as having any meaning please ;))) .

Ha, wine! Nothing compared to Venedic beer! The only potential use for wine in the RTC is for calming down the baby!

As for Narbonido, it is silent because it has no intention to enter in this kind of pointless debates. While the "big" ones fight over who's the best IAL ever, the One and Only, they forget the speakers themselves, who feel quickly betrayed by their leaders and quit the ranks of the Nova Neokernokantopanto and Universala Venedikantidino Supersolanova. The problems with those two movements is that they behave as dictatures, with leaders who pretend to have the solutions for all the problems of the world without ever listening to the people who are actually in trouble. On the contrary, Narbonido promotes a completely democratic view of the world and the auxlang problematic.

Now that sounds like a sympathetic auxlang! Venedikanto Omniversala Supernova and Venedikanto Intermondiala Superlatinova are exactly like that, only better! We favour democracy too, and normally we keep ourselves far from discussion about which auxlang is better or worse. We simply stand above auxlang policies.

It doesn't claim to be the best IAL ever.

Nor does VIS. That's what makes it even more perfect!

It doesn't even claim that the world needs an IAL. It just provides one in case it would need it. It treats people as adults and lets them decide for themselves whether it's a good IAL or not, and whether it is necessary to have one or not. It has no leader nor single creator, but a council of helpers who are democratically elected by anyone who knows enough Narbonido to read the election forms (and since Narbonido is designed for maximal easiness for everyone, about everyone in the world can read those, and thus can vote, and even be elected in the council).

I find the idea of gathering IALers together and letting them bicker about their idÈes fixes at point-blank rather amusing. It could be IB's substitute for wrestling. Make sure there are plenty of folding chairs and water glasses available.

Unnecessary, as those people are *not* auxlangers in this sense of the word. They have no business inventing something, just supervising its evolution. The true inventors are the actual speakers. In many ways, Narbonido is the Universal Pidgin, about to become a creole :))) .

Ah, I get the picture: Doktoro Gasiro is democratically elected as president and sole council member by an assembly that consists of one participant, Doktoro Gasiro! 1-0 for democracy! Look, it seems you have good ideas. Why don't you give up on your pointless experiment and join the glorious Venedikanto OS movement? We will happily forgive you your youth sin.

And since self-proclaimed leaders are usually the worst leaders, by rule only those who didn't ever manifest a desire to enter the council can be elected (it sounds complicated, but Narbonido speakers are intelligent persons who can handle those things with ease, especially thanks to the clarity of their language). Even the features of the language are subject to vote, and the council can only modify the language through referendum. This way, as new speakers from all over the world decide to join the movement, their opinion will always count, and the language slowly evolves (in a patient and natural way) so that it stays as easy as possible for everyone to speak.

In other words, there will be as many versions as there are Windows 95 updates, and version mismatches all over the place.

Facts say the contrary. People who adopt Narbonido never feel that they are in disagreement with other people about it.

A shotgun plebiscite, no doubt. What happens to those who oppose? Brainwash? Vacations in Siberia? Coercive drugs? Lobotomy?

We have yet to meet one person who opposes from inside the movement. I guess those who oppose don't ever come in the Narbonido movement in the first place ;)) . The Narbonido speakers don't mind people who oppose from outside the movement. They are well aware that their language may not become the world IAL. They don't even know whether there will be one or not. Narbonido is there to provide an alternative, because to find the best way it's always better to have a lot to choose from.

Since everyone participates in this evolution, there have never been a split in the Narbonido community.

Well, once the community grows beyond 1, there will be... as soon as the first vote ends up with a tight draw, the 47% minority will create a spin-off language of their own, which will in turn schism again before you can even say "unitato e fraternitato".

This doesn't happen. Those in minority just accept the vote of the majority and go on with their lives. As I said, most people who learn Narbonido have no interest in creating a language of their own. And that's the majority of the people in the world ;))) .

What kind of beings are you talking about? Ants? That certainly doesn't sound like homo sapiens sapiens to me. Unless they're lobotomised.

Adult homo sapiens sapiens, not childish ones ;))) . The difference is quite big you know ;))) .

Note that I modelled the behaviour of the Narbonido movement on the behaviour of most Esperantists I met. Most of them don't have any intention to *promote* Esperanto, apart from by using it themselves. They are also usually uninterested in creating languages themselves, and the few people who want to introduce variations and so-called "ameliorations" usually stay in the movement and their "ameliorations" are usually put in the dictionaries (good dictionaries of Esperanto include for instance the proposals "ri" and "sxli" for the epicene third person singular proposed by some. It has never been adopted by the majority, but it hasn't been forbidden either. The result is that everybody's happy: those who want to use it use it, those who do not don't have to, and yet won't have a problem understanding those who do - if they don't, they just ask what it means ;))) -). You have to realise, after all, that the only split the Esperanto movement ever suffered from happened quite a long time ago, with those who later proposed Ido. And this split was hardly balanced, with more than 90% of people staying with Esperanto. And from what I've seen, it didn't leave hard feelings. The Esperantists who know about Ido are not that common, and those who know about it usually have no opinion on it.

That's what happens when the majority of people using an IAL don't have any interest in IAL politics. They are just interested in a working tool, not a theoretically perfect machine.

Don't believe it? Look at the open source OS market. Every 1337 |-|@XX0r swears by his own compilation and disses all the others. As a result, it's a terrible mess that you can only see through if you're a computer crack.

But the comparison is meaningless seen the facts. The Narbonido community (which has celebrated its millionth member a few weeks ago, a woman from the RTC who escaped from a so-called "education camp" of the Venedikanto movement. Note that the 999999th member was a man who escaped from seemingly a similar camp, but from the Neo Kernokantopanto movement. They both told stories of atrocious mistreating, especially of children, chained to their desks and given 24 hour lessons of their so-called "easy languages".

Oh, the inhumanity. Jovianto feels no need for forced growth. Being Jervans, the speakers of Jovianto are well aware that it is the fate of all elites to be a minority until the time comes.

They report from both sides that no child until now has been able to grasp even enough vocabulary to say "hello" in those IALs, and that most just fall into coma, presumably their minds giving up trying to learn something which is definitely unnatural for them. The authorities of the FK and the RTC have been warned, and it is expected that they will from now on consider the NN and Venedino movements as dangerous terrorist groups to be dismantled, by force if necessary) is strong and united, and has apparently gone over this idea that one person can be better than everybody else. Basically, they behave like adults, rather than like children fighting over their toys ;))) .

And since the Narbonido movement doesn't feel any interest in bickering over such meaningless subjects, it will go back to its position of silence, letting people come by themselves to it, as it as perfectly worked until now. They have no interest in theoretical discussions, and theoretical demonstrations that their way cannot work don't interest them, just like Socrates was unimpressed by the man who claimed that movement was impossible, because to go and touch a wall, you first have to walk half of the distance towards distance, then half of the distance left, than half again, etc... ad infinitum, without ever managing to touch the wall. Socrates, at the end of this brilliant demonstration, just got up and went and touched the wall :) .

I can't imagine how people ever managed to live without differential mathematics.  ;-)

LOL.

This way is so effective that independent studies have proven that someone joining the Narbonido movement never ever leaves it and stays faithful to the language until his or her death.

Well, that is probably going to change as soon as someome actually decides to join the Narbonido movement.

And thanks to its decentralised nature, the Narbonido movement has survived all the attempts from other IAL movements to infiltrate and destroy it. Actually, quite a few of those infiltrant have actually abandoned their mission and adopted Narbonido once they recognised how poorly they had been treated by the leaders of their former IAL movements :)) .

Yes, these Kemrese infiltrants are highly irreliable, indeed! Good for us, bad for the Kernopeantos.

And a survey from the League of Nations has not so long ago shown that while all other IAL movements are losing ground and number of speakers (despite their claims), the Narbonido movement is the only one to keep on growing, slowly, but steadily, and projections have been made that prove that at this rate, the Narbonido movement will be bigger than all the other IAL movements added together within a year. But the Narbonido speakers don't take pride from this fact. Why being proud of what's only natural? They go on their lives, speaking to people from all over the world, meeting friends from the other side of the planet without ever having trouble with the language barrier, and let the rest of the world decide what it wants to do. If Narbonido is good enough, people will come to it by themselves (and they do). If not, it will have been nice for the time it lasted, and people will have had a nice experience, meeting other people, learning about other cultures, and about tolerance.

That sounds wonderful! Venedino and its descendents are all about tolerance and mutual respect too. You really should join our ranks!

As such, you will never see a Narbonido speaker bashing other IAL movements.

My point exactly! As I said, Venedikanto's spiritual level is far beyond auxlang politics, and so, we don't engage in pointless discussions.

People are adult enough to make their own choices. If they are happy with another IAL, so be it. If not, they will eventually abandon it and try another one.

EPILOGUE

[PB] Ick! Ick! VOS! It burns - it burns!!!!

[JvS] Mwahahahahaaaa!!!

Ack! And I see you've dredged up those sorry slobs from the jovinanto and narbondinanto movements! THANK YOU SO MUCH!!

Dear oh dear, WHAT HAVE I DONE?!

Did you read that tract on Narbonanto, anyway? What a load of Miss Nancies! No wonder no one in Gaulh has even heard of this so called language!

No, indeed. It must be even worse than Neokernopanto and Jovianto together! I mean, an IAL without central leadership, can you believe that?!

CONCLUSION

[PB] NB RE "LWII, TESB" Fr: Mssrs Ipswich and Leeks, Esq.

To Whom It May Concern:

Regarding the continued discussion of the IALs styled variously "Kernopanto", "Neokernopanto Nova", et r.; M Iowan Gallopico of the Esca based organisation styled "Cantolingvo Internationala", who has used the communications devices operated by one M Costentin Cornomorus for the purpose of communicating with others, has been ordered to refrain from further communications by the Justinian for the City of Esca in the matter of The Crown v. Cantolingvo Internationala. No further details can be communicated at this time.

I remain your obedient servant,

Willard Leeks, Esq

BLINK BLINK

[Thomas R. Wier] *blink blink*

Um, I realize you're kidding, but what exactly are you kidding about?

[PB] We're having a little AUXlang-bashing fun. It's an interesting thing to consider: a constructed IAL designed within a constructed culture whose impetus and driving force is a constructed ARTlang! If you look closely, you can see some examples of Neokernopanto Nova (the One and Only IAL for the Entire World), VOS (an also-ran), and I think Jovinanto (another also-ran); not to mention Narbonido's "Fundamento". In typical AUXlang fashion, the "discussion" quickly degenerated into a bickering flamefest, where, as a group, we violated Godwin's Law (rather quickly) and proved Throckmorton's Law (rather fully).