Talk:Four Nations

From IBWiki

Jump to: navigation, search

Fourth Paragraph

The sentence-cluster talking about Alton and La Queue have a very strange sentencee fragment which I'm not exactly sure what "It" refers to. Does anyone? It's the third sentence.  Byzantine flag2.png Mr.X8 Talk Contribs13:58, 13 October 2008 (UTC)

Is this clearer?

At the very tip of La Queue is the town of Alton. Alton is a suburb of Saint-Louis, Louisianne, and is Four Nations' largest city.

It is clear. The only thing I'd suggest is making it one sentence: At the very tip of La Queue is the town of Alton, which is a suburb of Saint-Louis, Louisianne, and is Four Nations' largest city. Doesn't change the clarity but only alters the style a bit. In my opinion making the second sentence into a clause and eliminating the second "Alton" improves the flow.Elemtilas 21:49, 4 October 2009 (UTC)

Personal tools
discussion