How to tell if you are from Free Lithuania

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If you live in Free Lithuania...

  • You know how the battlegame is played and you believe that the successes of a nation that has less than 3000 people in battlegame mean that the Lithuanians are powerful soldiers. Most likely you do participate in a battlegame team yourself and like to watch the battles of other local teams. You do not care about any other sports; they are uninteresting, illogical and most of them are impossible to play on ice.

If you died tonight...

  • You may believe in the Baltic pagan gods and goddeses or you may not, but you respect them and practice the faith even if you don't believe in it. You take a great pride in the fact that the Lithuanians are the largest European nation that managed to resist the Christianisation or Islamisation.
  • You don't know what is fast-food. Food is expensive and takes time to aquire.
  • You most likely don't own a TV set as there is little use for it in your country. You listen to the radio to get the news.
  • You don't really understand what is a political party.
  • Foreign languages is something that helps when dealing with tourists. If you work in tourist industry you know several pharses in English, French and Spanish. Or, more likely, you know somebody who knows and would be able to translate. You think foreign languages are weird and unable to express everything as well as Lithuanian.
  • You find the whole idea of taxes weird. How could the govenment request money if it provides nothing in return directly for it?
  • You have heard about universities and you think they are a strange thing. Learning a single job for 3 or 4 years after like 12 years of school education? Come on.

Everyone knows that...

  • It would take an awfully long time to get to what the rest of the world calls civilisation. But this is not needed as that "civilisation" is morally corrupt. This is hard to explain to your children, unfortunately... But the teenagers always rebel against their parents.
  • Lithuania would be a powerful country - something it deserves - if not the always aggressive Russians (who are the worst war criminals in the world, known for their mass murders and rapes) and the treacherous Veneds (who attempt to suck out the Lithuanian language and culture secretly in the unequal union known as the RTC). The Germans however might be a good ally.
  • If not the Second Great War, there would have been a Lithuanian colony on the moon by 1960 or maybe 1970.
  • The programme of the only radio station starts at 17:00 everyday and ends at 22:00. Unless something important happens which is rare.
  • Free Lithuania is world's only real democracy.
  • Aurora australis is the most beautiful sight on the Earth. This is what the tourists like to say at least...
  • In the past everything used to be better.
  • The mentally retarted people are a strain on the economy of the country and should not be permitted to live.
  • Nobody puts anything on ground outside of the buildings or the winds will take it.
  • If there will be any tourists around when you go to swim in the ocean they will take photographs for sure but decline invitation to join you.
  • The tourists never walk in shorts, skirts or short sleeve shirts. Not even in the summer.

World civilization?

  • You don't care about famous people of Europe or NAL. It is a complete vanity, far away and unimportant. But you know the history of Lithuania. At least its gloryful parts.
  • Your favourite book is one of the books that were brought into Free Lithuania by someone who have been abroad. One book is usually read by many people.
  • You probably have seen such things as trees only in pictures.
  • You used to like to listen to stories about the mainland Lithuania and the other parts of the world in your childhood.
  • You don't understand how people elsewhere may have holidays - days when they may not work. What a strain on the economy of the country that is. And what do they do on these days? There are nights for resting and evenings for battlegame.

It is always Something...

  • Summer is when the temperature rises above freezing point.
  • You always attend the council meetings.
  • You fear that the next generation of Free Lithuania might not preserve the country well. You are afraid of high emigration rates; on the one hand you don't understand why people would leave Free Lithuania, but on the other hand it makes you want to travel abroad yourself. If only you had the possibility...

Space and time

  • Usually you don't agree on the exact time when setting up meetings. You believe that saying "I will come in the evening" is enough. After all, it is always easy to find someone in a small town.
  • You visit other people when you feel like it. You expect others to visit you anytime as well.
This page was created by Abdul-aziz.
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