Hannah Coultier

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Hannah Coultier (born 1963) is a former member of the NAL Parliament, a Whig Delegate from Pennsylvaania. She is a member of the extreme Left Wing of the Whig Party, and has sometimes undergone censure for her extreme views and comments. Her speaking and writing style is provocative and aggressive, with heavy use of sarcasm and hyperbole.

Early Life

Coultier was born in New Amsterdam from parents she describes as "middle class but distantly related to nobility in New Francy." This last has been disputed by her critics more than once and it is certain the League of Noble Emigrees claims to have no record connecting her to anyone of noble blood. Her parents, Ralph and Alice Coultier, each worked full-time jobs. He was a bus driver, and she a maid. The family was Catholic but Hannah herself is an atheist, once getting into trouble in college (Stuyvesant Community College) for an editorial in which she called the Pope "a dictator of the SNOR-ist School." A fervant member of the Anti-Snorist Movement, she signed petitions calling for (among other things):

  • Severing all connection between the NAL-SLC and any monarchies.
  • Reducing the term of office of the General-Moderator to two years.
  • Making the acceptance of a knighthood grounds for loss of citizenship.
  • Allowing the verdict of jury trials to be overturned by popular referendum.
  • The confiscation of any personal fortune above five million pounds.
  • The banning of Russian as a language on American campuses.
  • The automatic prosecution for murder of any police officer who kills in the line of duty.
  • The abolition of the concept of "conjugal rights" in marriage.
  • The forbiddance of carrying any form of weapon.
  • The disestablishment of the Roman Catholic Church.

These stands and the often vociferous way she voiced them earned her a certain amount of fame. When she graduated with a BA in English Literary Criticism, she was offered a job as commentator on staff at The Philadelphia Reformer, a weekly newspaper in the nation's capital. While on staff there, she made a national name for herself when she wrote a scathing commentary about James Wainwright in the wake of his assasination. Her exact words were:

While the puppets of the right wing continue to praise a man of little distinction (none of it good) and less accomplishment, the actual people of North America and the world would be better served to recall precisely what James Wainwright really represented. Here was an ignorant farmer's boy who joined the army for the chance to kill people and because his lack of education allowed him no other prospect of a career. His so-called faith was ditched for a pretty face who wanted to move to the NAL. Later, he "failed upward" as the poltroons and kingmakers of Jacobia found him a pliable, unchallenging tool. Still later, as the Progressive Conservatives did all they could to lay the groundwork of an American Empire, Wainwright was right there getting the coffee and posing for the history books. Now, after a lifetime of insincerity and collusion in corruption, he has been struck down by the disturbed son of one of his oligarchal masters. It is enough almost to make one believe in God.

That commentary ultimately led to her dismissal from the Reformer. But it also led to a book deal, which if anything increased her fame (or infamy, depending upon one's point of view).

Treason: Conservative Lies About the American Left (1983) became a best-seller, riding as it did on the wave of reaction against three Progressive Conservative administrations in a row (and one Conservative Democrat). In this, she maintains that ever since the end of the Second Great War journalistic institutions in the NAL have been propoganda machines for the Radical Right who seek to replace representative government with a form of oligarchy a la Russia's White Council.

Political Career

She followed this book, and the speaking engagements that went with it, with a series of columns in various magazines and newspapers. In the same general election that brought William Josiah Clinton into office, Coultier was elected to the House of Delegates. Somewhat surprisingly, she ran as a Whig, despite her claims that the party is "a toned down version of the Snor Wannabes, dictators without the guts to dictate." Yet she won her district and has continued to do so. Currently she is a member of the Ecology and Health Committees in the House. There were rumors of her running for the Senate in 2001 but she declined to do so, possibly due to numerous suggestions that she was having an affair with General Moderator Clinton. There is no doubt that she improved her appearance during Clinton's term of office, having her teeth capped and losing weight as well as adopting a "higher end" of hair style and wardrobe.

Certainly during the Clinton years she accused the Loyal Opposition of "the worst kind of moral skullduggery, making up stories about others rather than debate any real issues, thus demonstrating their own moral backruptcy."

Less supportive of Albert Arnold Gore, Jr. than of his predecessor, Coultier has taken it upon herself to routinely attack leaders of the Progressive Conservative Party. She routinely refers to Senator Diane Rodham as "Our Lady of Trailer Trash" and to Bishop Alister Sharpton as "The Would-Be Grand High Inquisitor of America."

She lost a bid for re-election in 2006, and has since called the Whig-Covenant Loyalist Coalition "a perfect example of cowardice wedded to tyranny." She has sued, claiming election fraud as part of a far-ranging conspiracy against democracy (which she claims includes the assassination of Louisianne First President Young).

Controversial Statements

Hannah Coultier has made numerous remarks which have spawned deep controversy, sometimes across the entire political spectrum. Some examples:

  • When the World Trade Towers were attacked by a pair of hijacked airships, she said the (then-unknown) pilots had seriously erred in attacking symbols of capitalism instead of "gunning down the real criminals, the CEOs and businessmen of America."
  • Upon the death of former General Moderator Edward Moore O'Kinneide in 1998 she claimed that the Black Star Societies all over the country were flying their flags at half-mast. Likewise she was reported to suggest that when Juanita Edith Baker-Stuart died in 1987 that "they'd better make sure the stake goes all the way through her heart."
  • At a Student Union in Boston, she claimed that presumption of innocence in rape cases "only serves the guilty" and suggested that marriage should consist of "chattel status for husbands" to bring an "historical balance" to the institution.
  • In a radio interview she said "Capitalism is anti-life, anti-child, anti-woman. The whole world would be better off if we just grabbed everyone with a checking account that contained two commas, then set them on fire."
  • She was interviewd by Dandy magazine in 2000, during which she claimed "Cancer was cured decades ago. The doctors hid it from us and now they've created a new disease--AIDS--to serve as a backup. It isn't a coincidence that medicine used to be called leechcraft."
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