Cantonese War

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Wars of Ill Bethisad
War logo2.gif
Name(s):Cantonese War
Start of hostilities:2003
End of hostilities:2003
Winning side:Losing side:
Canton flag.gif
Canton
Hunan flag.gif
Hunan
Resulting treaty/treaties:????
Major consequences:Japanese Occupation of Hunan
A short war in 2003 between the Empire of Hunan and Canton. The war began on March 21, 2003, when the Empire of Hunan invaded Canton, as part of the Emperor's dream of re-unifying China with himself as Emperor. His Highness Wang Zhenli stated at the time of the initial invasion: "I, as the Emperor of Hunan and all China, have ordered a reclamation of Canton for our great empire. We will crush the resistance, and reclaim our rightful land."

The President of Beihanguo condemned "in the strongest possible terms this vicious act of agression by the dictatorial regime of Hunan", and sent aid to Canton. The King of Fujian, Taiwan and Hainan reacted similarly.

Observers noted that Hunan had a "surprisingly large force", and that without backup, Canton could possibly "buckle and fall". The Cantonese President made a small address to the nation that day:

"The opressor approaches from the north, but we will stand in its way. We will resist its regime, and fight off its pawns. The people of Canton will never bow to a dictator such as Mr.Wang, and will repel the invasion."

Canton received aid from other nations of the world including, but not necessarily limited to, the Federated Kingdoms (both official and unofficial), the Scandinavian Realm (in the form of mercenaries), Louisianne, Japan, and Oregon (unofficially).

Jac von Ripper was said to have played a decidedly unofficial role in assisting Canton.

The day after hostilities began, Citizen-President Chang Hsueh-Liang stepped down from power citing the need to re-find/re-fine his personal connexion to the Tao of Wu-wei ["effortless effort"] and "the Music of Nature." He went into an undisclosed mountain retreat where he was unreachable for further comment or communications.

Reluctantly "with a heavy bittersweetness in my heart and spasmodic nervous farts in my brain," General-Strategist Hanuman Zhang became the new Provisional Citizen-President.

On the 23rd, Zhang's first act as Provisional Citizen-President was to declare that "starting today the 23rd of March 2003 Common Era, the Autonomous Tao of Canton and Overseas Allies will henceforth be known as Do Ge GwongDung - the Tao of Canton - natively ... and known as the Aleatoric Natal Agency of Revolutionary-evolutionary Canton -ANARC - elsewhere... "

Then using a modern brush-marker and fine art-quality recycled Canton rag-&-rice paper, Zhang displayed how Aleatoric Natal Agency of Revolutionary-evolutionary Canton could be visually printed or written in Roman alphabetic letters:

Aleatoric Natal Agency of (R)evolutionary Canton

Zhang then officially stepped down after dissolving the "the inept incompetent, bureacratically-overfreighted, overloaded hierarchial Government Assembly" in favour of "creating a grass-roots, bottom-up, Libertarian-Socialist 'direct participatory techno-democracy' based on a flexible, ad hoc tong {"association(s)"} networks of bonded couples, extended families, localized cells, neighborhoods, collectives, cooperatives, guilds, cadres, villages, townships, cities, cantons, unions, syndicates and confederations.

"In other words, an organic socio-cultural _cybernetic system_ rather than a politico-economic centralizing power infrastructure. Simply put, a way of life that takes into account that 'shit happens' and that no one has any real control over what happens in the real, raw reality of life. Life like this frustrates all the world's 'control-freaks' and 'power-addicts'" - they are in denial of the facts apparent for all to see in the 'Big Picture.'

"There will be no slow-reacting government hierarchy ...or rigid utopian manifestos or amendable constitutional declarations or vaguely worded mission statements. The power of the people informed, educated and united from the bottom-up is highly adaptable to change - ever-ready to respond to what is necessary, possible and imaginable.

"Revolutionary Evolution: By Any Means Necessary, Possible and Imaginable!!! All Power to Change, Probability and the Imagination!!!"

"This is real, life-affirming People-Power... not an utopian pipe dream or a partyline ideological dogma."

Zhuanguo said that it will only aid Canton if the autonomous Zhuang Republic inside Canton is given near-complete autonomy. The Chinese League has condemned the attack, and called on its members to aid Canton, with money or troops.

There were allegations that SARS was produced by bio-warfare labs in Hunan.

The government of Oregon convicted Hunan of war crimes on April 13.

War also broke out in Chinese East Africa.

On May 3, 2003, the war was declared over, after the use of three nuclear weapons. In addition, there were allegations of use of experimental weapons (subsonic and infrared) by Dalmatian forces.

Aftermath of the War

The King of Fujian, Taiwan and Hainan condemned Canton's use of nuclear weapons as excessive and barbaric, and called for an administration of Hunan by the Chinese League, and economic sanctions to be placed on Canton. The Pacific Ocean Regional Forum expelled Canton from its membership. It would not be re-admitted until 2008.

On June 1, Cantonese troops abruptly left Hunan. Japanese forces have taken over the administration of Hunan.

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